Attraction
by ElectronikZombie
Summary: Dylan's a goth  Goth's hate emotions  but what happens when you feel a certain emotion and you just can't help it ?
1. Chapter 1

Fuck.  
That was the word that came to mind when I looked at him. Because when I looked at him, his curly hair, his sexy smirk, I knew that I loved him.  
Love is an emotion, and emotions make you weak. and weakness is so fucking conformist.

Disclaimer: I don't own south park or the characters in this story, bla bla bla.

Pairings: Tall goth/ Red goth.

So, Red Goth is Dylan, the story is in his POV. Tall Goth is Evan, girl goth is Henrietta and small goth is georgie.

yes, this is yaoi, if you don't like male/male, south park, or the pairing, I don't give a crap, just don't read it.

I'm sorry if it's not very good, I'm not a writer, I just drank aload of coffee one night and had nothing better to do, plus I was in total goth mode. I'm sorry for my shitty spellings bla bla bla, enjoy.

I didn't mind the cold so much. Smokers seemed to handle the cold well. Besides, I'd rather live somewhere that was cold and grey, then somewhere hot and sunny where justin and britney wannabe's walked around in little clothing. It was last period in south park elementary, which ment P.E. P.E is so fucking conformist, kids jumping around, playing sports, high fiving their friends and laughing when their team scored. so fucking conformist. So natrually, I decided to skip it. I stood against the cold wall at the back of the school. The silence was nice. I lit a cigarette, placed it between my lips and closed my eyes, letting the wind cross my face, and my thoughts wander, until the silence was broken by a deep, familiar voice.  
"What are you daydreaming about?"  
I didn't even flinch. I just camly opened one eye- the eye that wasn't hidden behind my fringe. I looked at the boy before me. Tall, curly hair, sexy smirk, long trench coat, cross eyering.  
"I'm gonna have to cut your hair again, your fringe is getting way to long" He smired. Evan. If having a best friend wasn't so conformist, I would say Evan was mine. He was in the grade above me, Taller, Smarter, But his soul was as black as mine. I plucked the cigarette from between my lips and let the smoke stream out my nose. "...Evan...what are you doing here?" I said in my monotone voice, my one eye looking into his.  
"Last lesson, science, couldn't be fucked"  
I nodded slightly, eye still focused on him. I suddenly took a sharp breath in as Evan suddenly took a step towards me and lent really close to my face. I tried not to flinch, or show any expression. Evan then grabbed the end of my fringe and tugged slightly, pulling my head down. "tch, I like your fringe, but this is just getting ridiculous." he said. I could imagine that he was smirking. He moved his fingers to the top of my head and racked his fingers through my fringe. "And you need another dye job too, the red is starting to fade." As he continued inspecting my hair, I didn't try to push him away, or look up, I didn't really want him to see my current facial expression. I wasn't complaining though, It felt good.  
After a few more moments, I heard a female clear her throat. Evan, still holding onto my fringe, slightly turned to face her. I peered under my fringe to see Henrietta, the girl we hang out with, and next to her stood gerogie, a kid in the grade below me that was rejected by all his class mates so became one of us. Evan raised his eyebrow. "Oh, did you guys have the same idea as us?" Meaning, bunking off. Henrietta pulled a fag out her pocket. "If you mean, molesting each others hair, then no, we didn't." Henrietta being sometimes sarcastic didn't suprise us at all. "you guys do realize that school finished 10 mintes ago right?" she stated, knowing very well that we didn't. Evan let go of my fringe and I tilted my head up. "Oh shit, let's go, why are we wasting more time in this shit hole?" said Evan, and started walking away, I followed. we trugded through the snow, Henrietta was complaining about her mum again, and georgie was listening intentivley, Evan was lighting a cigarette and I looked around at all the fucking conformist kids, in their conformist clothes playing their conformist games. It sickened me. We reached the end of the road, were we go our seperate ways home. Henrietta turned to face us. "9 oclock, coffee at Benny's as usual." I nodded, so did Evan and georgie. We all slightly nodded at each other in a away of parting. "See you." Evan murmered under his breath, I noticed him looking straight at me, so I nodded and turned away quickly as I felt my face heat up.  
"Fuck", I murmered as I walked down my road. "Fuck this whole thing." I became goth because of regection, and being a hater of life, I don't believe in feelings. feelings were such conformist things, feelings made you weak, feelings made you lose all sense of pride, and feelings always lead to dissapointment. The truth is, I have a crush on Evan, If that wasn't obvious already. I hated just admitting that. A crush is something you hear in those corny love songs, those fucking corny films where the justin and Britney wannabe's fall in love and walk around like a fucking happy conformist couple. Unfortunatley, it felt like more than just a crush, and It was something that I couldn't control. I'v always thought that Evan was good looking, it's not weird to think your best friend is good looking is it? At first I thought it was harmless, but then I started feeling hot when he was around me, and I kept having akward daydreams about him. Not only was I feeling these disguisting, embarassing, conformist emotions, but it made me a complete fag. Why me? He'd laugh at me, if he knew how I felt. Love is such a fucking happy emotion, I felt like a failure for just acknowledge. What a fucking conformist Pussy this will make me. 


	2. Chapter 2

I lay on my bed and stared at my walls. Dark grey, and covered in posters of non conformist goth bands that sang songs about pain and suffering. There was a desk opposite my bed, with a mirror sitting on it, and was covered in hair products and eyeliner rather than textbooks. Next to that sat my CD player. I aimlessley picked the remote of my bed and turned it on, not knowing what CD was in there. I closed my eyes and listened.

"Can't you help me as I'm starting to burn?  
Too many doses and i'm starting to get an attraction,  
My confidence is leaving me on my own,  
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention~"

Avenged Sevenfold bat country. Fucking sweet song. I let out a breath. Music was the only thing that gave me peace these days, that and smoking. I play a little guitar myself. I remembered the time that me, Henrietta, Georgie and Evan entered the school's talent show with our song 'Talent shows are for fags.' We showed them. Evan had a good voice, steady and deep. I would definently have his songs on my i-pod. I slapped my hand over my eyes and groaned. There I go again with my Gay conforormist thoughts. I knew that if I kept this up, I would just bring myself more pain and suffereing. I got off my bed and walked across my bedrom floor. I picked up a small black leather book- my poetry book, and flicked through the pages, stopping at a certain page, I cleared my throat and started reading the poem out to myself.

"His voice is like whispered secrets,  
The only murmer unheard by everyone around me,  
He's like the only light in a poor of darkness,  
I want to swim towards him but I know the light will fade,  
I want to be swallowed by this endless pit of black,  
Or be drowned in this sea of pain,  
Because I know that it will be less painful,  
then becoming your tortured soul~"

That was just one verse of the many poems I'v written, obviously, based on Evan. He's the only good thing in life, and I tend to steer clear of good things. I glanced at my alarm clock. '8:40'. Fuck. I was going to be running late to Benny's. I kept my black skinny jeans on, but changed into a fresh grey shirt, raked a comb through my fringe and scruffed up the top layers with hairspray. I lent in close to my mirror and re-applied my eyeliner, making my eyes as dark as charcoal. I slipped into my purple shoes and shoved my money and keys into my jeans pocket as I walked out the door. Benny's might just be another place that the corperate used to get money, but it was the only place in South Park that wasn't crawling with the conformist kids that went to our school. I stepped inside and walked over to our usual booth where the others were already sitting. "Dylan, your late." Henrietta stated. "Sorry, I got sort of, sidetracked.."  
Evan smirked. "It's okay, we just got here too." I sat next to Evan and we ordered our usual six dollers worth of coffee from the crankey old bag of a waitress who told us to get a life, as usual, and Evan called her a conformist bitch, as usual. A few minutes later, she returned with four mugs of coffee, put them on our table, glared at us and walked away. We sat there for a while, warming our hangs with our mugs. I held mine tightly until the heat seaped through my skin and stung my fingers and palms. I closed my eyes and a feeling of relief ran through me. When I re-opened them, Henrietta pulled out a mirror and started to re-apply her black lipstick, Georgie was staring down into his coffee and was slowly stirring it with a spoon. Evan was aimlessley staring at the empty booth next to us. I also looked at the booth. I couldn't help but remember the time that Mike and his conformist friends decided to buy a bunch of clothes from hot topic and pretend to be douchey little vampires. They even started coming here, but they didn't drink coffee because they said they were too young to drink caffine. They didn't smoke either. "Fucking assholes" I murmered.  
"Who's an asshole?" Said Henrietta.  
"Oh, I was just thinking about the time that those douchey little vampire kids tried to take over our hotspots" I said. Evan casually rested his head on his hand and looked at me. "OH? I was was just thinking about that too. Fucking conformists."  
"Yeah, what douchebags" I agreed.  
Evan chuckled. I felt a small smile on my face, which is a bad thing to do when your goth. happiness in general was a bad thing. I coughed akwardly and Evan looked back down at his coffee, I looked at Henrietta who was also looking down at her coffee. she had a small smile on her face like she knew something that we didn't. We all sat there in silence for a few minutes beofre the silence was broken. Kids from our school came in and walked up to our table. They were all in my grade so I recognized them. Stan Marsh, that fat kid Cartman, the poor kid kenny, that jew kyle broflovski and four other douchebags Craig Tucker, Clyde Donovan, Token Black and Tweek Tweak. I remembered Stan Marsh the most. He was once one of us. His girlfriend dumped him and he became a tortured soul, just like us. We welcomed him with open arms, we gave him the name Raven, we dressed him like us and he even drank coffee at Benny's with us. And then one day, he realized that he liked life, so went back to his conformist friends and his conformist lifestyle. I was glad to see the back of him to be hinest, I almost thought that him and Evan had something going on. Evan gave him his cane and looked after him. "What do you conformists want?" I asked.  
"Look," Stan began, "Wendy's having a huge party and everyone's invited." Evan rolled his eyes.  
"What makes you think that we'd want to go to some conformist party filled with loads of Justin and Britney wannabe's?"  
"Look, everyones invited, meaning Goths, nerds, jocks, everyone. No doubt alot of these guys will stay home. You guys stay home, and you'll be conforming to them." Stan just played our conformist card against us. I glared at him. "Your all just a bunch of Nazi conformist cheerleaders." , said Georgie. Georgie was pretty young, and his insults were pretty...odd, but he still told them. "Fine." Said Craig. "You guys just stay home like a bunch of conformist pussy's" And with that, they walked out. Henrietta rolled her eyes. "As if that Craig kid even knows what the word 'conformist' means."  
Evan looked at me.  
"I think we should go." He said seriously.  
"What, your kidding right?" I said in disbelief.  
"Think about it, If we don't go, we'll be admitting defeat, it's like when we sang in the talent show to show everyone that we can own talent shows and thet there for fags." He said.  
I looked at Georgie. "Maybe we should go, it would be really unexpected." He said. I looked at Henrietta, hopeful that she would take my side. She just shrugged. "Do go, don't go, it doesn't matter to me." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I turned my attention back to Evan. "Fine, you go to a fucking conformist party full of stereotyping douchebags. When did you start caring about what other people think of you? Soon you'll be a fucking conformist yourself." Evan looked completley taken aback. I stood up.  
"Dylan, don't go, please..." I ignored him and started walking briskly towards the exit, not once looking back at his beautiful, desperate face. 


	3. Chapter 3

I knew this would just bring more pain. It's saturday, and all i've done is sit in my room, back against the wall, knees tucked into my chest. My face was in my hands, the light was off and the deepest, most painful music was blearing out of my radio.  
"Fuck my life", I groaned. Evan just had to piss me off didn't he? I was pissed at him. But I missed him at the same time. I didn't even care about my stupid crushy feelings for him, I just wished he was sitting in my room, writing poems or mocking my fringe again. I picked up my pen knife and flicked it open, looking at the shiny blade. The thought of cutting myself crossed my mind for a moment, but I decided that wouldn't solve anything., instead, I angrily through it across my room, it hit the wall and fell to the floor. I started sobbing angrily. Suddenly I heard my door click open and I quickly looked up to see Henrietta standing in my doorway. I felt shocked and flustered and quickly wiped my tears with my sleeves. Henrietta sighed and walked over to my bed, then sat down on it and patted the space next to her. Reluctently, I stood up and walked over to the bed, keeping my head down to hide my embarrasment. I sat down but kept silent. "Look Dylan," She began, "I know we're all, Goth and non conformist, but stilll, we are human, as much as feelings suck balls, we all have them. I get stupid crushes on lead singers and stuff all the time." I groaned, she knows. That is so fucking embarrasing. "Look." She started again, "I don't know what feelings you have for Evan, but you can't help them, and I don't think it's a bad thing, heck, liking another goth isn't so bad, liking a conforsmist is." I nodded. "But anyway," She looked at me. "I think you should come tonight. I know Evan is just trying to be conformist in a confusing way, but it's not really harming anyone, and I think if he has to be in a place full of conformist assholes, he'd at least want to be there with his best friend." I smiled slightly, remembering the time that Evan entered the dance competition beacuse it would be non conformist for someone like him to do that.  
"Okay." I said. "I'll go."  
"Good. I'll pick you up at 8:40, okay?" She said.  
"Sure, and...thanks."  
Henriettea just nodded and left my room. I flopped back on my bed and let out a sigh. I kind of felt better.  
It was 8:00 and I decided to get ready. I had a hot shower, then drank a cup of coffee in my underwear, skinny puppy playing in the background. I put on a pair of black jeans, a studded belt and chain. I put on a black shirt, instead of my usual grey one and replaced my trademark purple shoes for leather goth boots. I made the effort to re-paint my nails black as they were chipping, re-apply my makeup and put a studded chocker around my neck. At 8:40 I heard Henrietta drive up to my house. I grabbed a packet of cigarettes off my side table, along with my keys and walked out the door. I walked through the snow over to her the car and slid into th passenger seat.  
"Hey, Evan and Georgie said they'de meet us there." I nodded. Henrietta started the engine and started driving to the hall where Wendy was having her party.  
"Does your mum know you took her car?" I asked.  
"Do I care?" she smirked.  
"fair point."  
This was just one of the many times that Henrietta had taken something of her Mum's without asking. I didn't blame her, her mum was a conformist bitch.  
For the rest of the way there we idoly discussed bands, and things that were non conformist. Neither of us bought up the topic from earlier, which I was quite relieved about. Henrietta pulled up outside a building, and we both got out of the car. I pulled a cigarette out my pocked, I wanted a quick smoke before I went in to calm the nerves I felt building up inside of me. After smoking for a while, Henrietta told me that Evan and Georgie were already inside. I flicked away what was left of my fag and followed Henrietta inside of the hall. There was a disco ball, loud conformist kids in GAP clothes dancing around. It was the most fucking disguisting sight ever. I pinched the bridge of my nose and scowled. I almost regretted coming, but then I noticed Evan and Georgie sitting on a bench in the far corner of the hall. We made our way over to them, I kept my head down. Evan stood up as we approached them. I flicked my fringe out of my eye. "Look Evan, I'm sorry..."  
He cut me off. "Don't even worry about it man." He grabbed y arm, and pulled me into the seat next to him. Henrietta sat on the other side of me. We didn't dance with the rest of the kids, I felt that dancing was something you do alone in your bedroom at three in the morning. Instead, we spoke about the usual things, bands, clothing, how much we hate fucking conformists, Henrietta's mum and how retarded twilight is.  
After a while, Craig Tucker, and Clyde Donovan came up to us. "So, looks like you guys arn't such pussy conformists after all." Craig smirked.  
"No, but you guys are conformist." Said Henrietta.  
"Yeah, we still fucking hate you."Stated Evan, giving them the finger.  
"Whatever."Said Clyde, and they both walked off.  
"We fucking showed them." I said. It was then that I realized a familiar song was playing. Avenged sevenfold-bat country. I would have been pissed off if conformists started liking this song, but looking around, everyone looked really confused. I even heard one kid go "What is this emo shit?" That was a relief. I glanced at Evan and he seemed to be thinking the same thing. I noticed Georgie tapping along to the drum beat, and I started singing along, so did Evan.

"Can't you help me as I'm starting to burn?  
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction,  
My confidence is leaving me on my own,  
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention."

I looked at Evan and he looked back at me. I quickly looked down at my feet.  
"I need a fag." I announced, standing up.  
"Me too" Said Evan, also getting up. Henrietta and Georgie stayed behind and Evan and I made our way through the crowds of conformist kids. We walked through the hallway and out the back exit. It was pitch black outisde, but there were lights around the building. It was quiet, the only noise was the faint thumping of the music from insde of the building. I pulled out a packet of cigarttes and offered one to Evan. After smoking in silence, Dylan flicked his fag away and turned to face Evan, he was about to speak but Evan grabbed the Coller of his shirt with both hands and pushed him against the wall, crushing their lips together.

Hng! Cliff hangeeer!  
guess this means you'll have to keep reading ;D


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Hey there. I know It's been aaaaages. I'm just really lazy but I ended up feeling guilty about that amount of people asking for the next chapter so here it is. I was going to end it on the fourth chapter but I thought it should be longer and plus I'm mean and like to tease my readers 8D So enjoy. Oh, and also, this is my crappiest chapter yet. It's just really random. I must have been high.

It feels like I'm tearing my eyes open.  
I have fuck no idea what time it is. I glance out my window and see that the sky is quite grey. I groan and pull my bed covers off me. I've fallen asleep in my jeans and shirt. Great.  
I walk over to my window and pull the curtains apart slightly, I glance out to see it's been thickly snowing. Oh, incase you're wondering. No, the party didn't end the way you think it did, me and Evan didn't hook up and have sex. What actually happened was, when Evan kissed me-God, it was amazing. I'm trying my hardest not to say something corny like my heart fluttered, but it felt like it was literally doing back flips. It hardly lasted before Evan pulled me away. I looked at him with a confused expression.  
"Omg, what actual fucking fags." I Heard a familiar voice say.  
Uh, Eric Cartman.  
He was standing with a group of people and they had all seen us.  
"Fuck all of you." Said Evan, flipping them all of in his monotone voice. He didn't even seem phased.  
"MOVE you douchebags." I heard the powerful voice of Henrietta as she had Georgie but the wrist and she pushed passed the group of people and briskly walked up to us.  
"Okay guys, this party is bullshit, lets go." None of us were going to complain, the party was utter bullshit. we nodded and Henrietta began to walk over to her Mum's car, we followed behind. I stole a quick glance at Evan, he didn't look at me. Did he regret kissing me?  
After that, we just sat silently in the car and made small talk. Henrietta dropped me off first. When I got home the first thing I did was smoke in my room, I don't even care if my parents are anal about smoking in the house. I then proceeded to drink some of my stashed away vodka. I really did not need to over think things right now.  
I don't know what happened then, but I assumed I passed in my clothes, which was a really bad choice.  
I groaned again.  
I fucking hate mornings. I could suddenly hear faint music.

uh, where did I put my phone?

I followed the music and vibrations to a bunch of comic books. No, I m not some comic book reading conformist asshole. These are Cuthulu comics. My phone is laying under these particular comic books. I flick it open. I've had 3 missed calls from Henrietta. Ugh. I really could not be bothered to talk to anyone. Just then my phone vibrated. unknown number.

'Go to your window.'

Go to my window? What the hell is this?  
This better not be some fucking prank.  
I hastily walked over and picked some cd's off of the window ledge and dumped them on the floor. I took a hold of the black material and pulled them open. I didn't even blink before I saw the face of Stan Marsh.  
The face of raven even.  
What the hell?  
"Douchebag, what the fuck are you doing in my window?"  
He grinned. I was getting really fucking irritated. Why was Stan Darsh here. Before I could react he grabbed the collar of my shirt and crushed his lips to mine.  
Stan's kiss was different than Evan's. He was less awkward, he had done this before. I could feel him smiling against my lips. I didn't like it. I pressed my hands to his chest and pushed him away. I was this close to pushing him out of the window.  
"WHAT THE FUCK? You ass ramming conformist cuntface. What the hell was that for?" I wiped my mouth on my sleeve.  
he grinned again. His black fringe fell into his eyes. I swear to God I saw Stan completely normal at the party yesterday. What was this? He was dressed the same as he did back when we were kids and his girlfriend dumped him.  
"I like you."  
"Um, no. You like Wendy. You're a normal conformist asshole like the rest of them."  
Stan squinted.  
"She dumped me again yesterday. None of my friends even cared, then I saw you and Evan...I miss being that way. I miss being one of you." His eyes stared into mine.  
"well good for you. And that explains you kissing me how?"  
"I always liked you. And now I know you're that way..."  
"Too bad. I like Evan, incase you haven't noticed. So fuck the hell off." I attempted to push him out the window but unfortunately Marsh was stronger than me, fuck knows how. He came into my bedroom completely and grabbed my wrists, pushing me back onto the bed.  
"Fucking let go of me!"  
He smirked. Oh how I wanted to punch that fucking smirking face of his. He crawled over me and kissed me again. I tried kicking him but from the way he was sitting on me, I couldn't move. This cannot be happening. I heard the clinking sound of metal and the cold touch my skin. My eyes widened.  
That fucking dick has handcuffed me to my own bed.  
"Argh, You ASSHOLE."  
"Now now, don't beg me like a conformist pussy."  
I hated this. I felt his hand slide up my shirt. There was nothing I could do, he was right, I couldn't beg him. How un-Goth like would that be? I wanted Evan. I wanted /this/ to be Evan. I wanted it to be Evan's tall form looming over me, his husky voice in my ears. But all I could hear was Stan fucking Marsh enjoying himself far too much. I clenched my teeth together and pinched my eyes shut. Now he was fiddling with my jean's zipper. I groaned. He tugged my jeans down along with my boxers. I felt fucking humiliated. He grasped my erection and my hips involuntarily bucked up into his hands. Although my mind and dare I say it-heart did not want this, my body obviously did. I groaned as his stroked my dick. his hand pumped up and down. "A-ah. Jesus fucking Christ." I murmured.  
"Like it?" Stan taunted.  
"No. Get the fuck off of me, you disgust me you fucking douchebag."  
He ignored me. He began to pump faster. All i could do was groan and wince.  
Shit. I'm going to-  
"..Dylan?"  
Stan was off me in a heard beat. I was left handcuffed to my bed completely exposed to Evan.  
Evan.  
"Okay, before you wonder, this fucking douchebag HERE did this."  
Evan looked at me, then to Stan, then back at me and shrugged. "Whatever."  
"Whatever? Evan I thought you liked me." I could not sound more pathetic right now.  
"Yeah...I thought you liked me too."  
I didn't even get to answer because Evan swiftly exited my room. I glared daggers at Stan.  
"You. fucking. Asshole."  
Stan shrugged. "Don't worry about it. He would have been a lousy fuck anyway, you can have me now."  
"Like I would ever fucking want you."  
"You will." He stated. He tossed the handcuff keys onto my bed and disappeared off of my bed.  
This is exactly why you do not fall inlove.  
Your fucking simple life ends.  
Now the person I love probably hates me and thinks I never really liked them, I have just been humiliated and violated by a conformist asshole and now, I'm half naked on my handcuffed to my own bed and I somehow have to unlock these handcuffs myself. Fuck my fucking life. 


End file.
